GlassPearl.co.za/blog

I read an article in Fairlady questioning whether one has reason to be concerned if your boyfriend or husband’s best friend is female.

And that female is not you!

Which begs the question – can men and women be just friends?

For me the answer isn’t cut and dried. It depends.

I’ve always had male friends, some married and others not and we’ve never crossed any lines.

However, there is usually a context, like we hang out at work or our friendship is based on shared interests like sport, politics or computers.

There’s never a discussion about our intimate relationships, or complaints about partners and no hanging out alone at my flat, or phone calls and SMSes or going to parties without our partners at night.

In other words, there are lines drawn that doesn’t get crossed.

For me it’s easy though. I compartmentalise my life anyway. I don’t socialise with colleagues after work and my home life stays at home. Friends are friends and boyfriends are romantic partners.

If my partner (past and future) should have similar relationships, I would not be concerned.

But if I started feeling doubt, I know there would be reason to be concerned and would say so.

I’m not the jealous type and I trust my instincts.

However even before getting into a relationship, I set boundaries of what is acceptable to me.

And if we are not on the same page about respecting our relationship, there is nothing left to talk about.