My Mitchell’s Plain aunty is concerned about my biological clock!
I’m having a birthday on Sunday and it’s apparently causing great concern to certain members of my family.
So much so that my mother received a phone call from my Mitchell’s Plain aunty (my mother’s sister) who wanted to know why I’m so scarce these days.
What can I say. Last year’s wedding drama has taken it’s toll on me.
Plus I’ve been busy trying to find myself.
“I dreamed of her last night,” my auntie said.
“And I’m worried.”
I was told that the dream included me sitting alone on an empty piece of land. Or something to that effect.
(Looking happy, no doubt.)
“She should’ve been married by now,” my Mitchell’s Plain aunty complained.
As if it had anything to do with her.
“Does she know her biological clock is at the detonation stage already?”
Like my mother doesn’t have enough problems.
“Are you sure she’s not gay?” Despite knowing that I have only dated men! And I told her before that I am straight and that I wished I was gay. Just so she could be right!
Arghhhh!
So the plan was to have an intervention…I mean tea party to celebrate my birthday on Sunday at my aunty’s house in Mitchell’s Plain.
“Are you crazy, mum” was my immediate reaction.
“You can talk about Patricia de Lille’s midlife crisis.” My mother tried her best to placate me. “You like politics, remember?”
Yeah, I nearly forgot about that. NOT!
“There’s also the upcoming local elections,” she tried to convince me.
“And Helen Zille looks like she had more botox and another make-over.”
That would piss my aunty off just a bit as her love for the botox politician and her side-kick is directly proportional to my un-loving of them.
I was tempted but…
“Hell no!” I said.
“Her husband is living with a younger woman in a shack in someone else’s backyard!”
“Who the heck is she to give me advise.”
“It’s my choice to not be married and not have children.” I continued ranting and raving.
“For heaven’s sake!” “It’s not as if I’m not having sex!”
Now I knew I had gone too far.
There was silence at the other end of the line.
“Mum,” “Are you still there?”
My mother broke the silence with: “Maybe we should just visit your aunty another day.”
