For me it happened this morning.

On my way to work, I hurried along, late as usual.

Less than 50 metres from my gate is a parking entrance for a group of businesses.

A car stopped to let me pass. I looked up to say thank you and could have sworn it was an ex-b/f.

Not just any ex. THE one every woman should have at least once in her life.

But I couldn’t be sure. Even though the car’s number plate had his name.

As if I needed something new to obsess about!

Then at work today I had to pack up my office for my move tomorrow.

It was kind of sad because I loved my office for 5 years until this year. When I hated it.

Except for my colleague in the office next door. We had so much fun talking nonsense and sometimes fighting over stupid stuff.

I’m so glad he won’t be at work tomorrow or I might just have cried. While he laughed at me

On the other hand, I’m getting to share a much nicer office space, have more interesting work to do and I will be away from the gossipers.

So I guess its not so bad.

But this we are used to by now. Cold, miserable weather for 1 September. And, yes spring only officially arrives late in September.

1 September brings hope though. That winter will eventually end.

Even if that only happens after Christmas in the Mother City!

I love the idea of hope and renewal that September brings.

It reminds me of a few years ago when I thought I would never get over the only man who ever broke up with me.

Mind you, the total sum of the relationship lasted 3 whole months and consisted of bad poetry he said he wrote for me.

I was so young and stupid then.

Anyway, it took me a whole autumn and winter to get over the man.

More like getting over my bruised ego, in hindsight!

However one morning I arrived on Thibault Square in town, where I worked. There were these little green shoots sprouting on formerly leafless trees.

I felt then that sense of renewal within me as well.

My current circumstances are so different.

Being in love in winter is great. Being in love in spring is magical.

In fact the seasons hardly matter when everything feels new and exciting anyway.

But besides that, this spring i’m moving into a new office space. My job is getting more interesting. And I feel a sense of excitement about the future.

Whatever it might be.

Winter will be back eventually, but so will summer, autumn and spring.

Why can’t everyone just see that?

My life has been taken over by an imposter. One who wears skirts!

And goes crazy over shoes.

Freaking strappy sky high wedge sandals, for goodness sake.

Me, who lived in my Levi 501s and Doc Martens for years!

My mother would be so proud as she always wanted a girly-girl daughter. But then she got me, followed by my sister.

The other evening my friend and I went shopping. I nearly fainted when a pair of wedges appeared before me.

I swear the Hallelujah chorus started in the background.

“I must have those sandals,” I told my friend. “And I don’t care if I have to starve this month.”

Huh? Did I actually say that?

Crazy stuff. Sanity prevailed in the end though.

Here’s the thing. It’s not only the shoes.

My nails match my outfits. So does jewellery.

That’s just the outer stuff.

Internally I’m calm, contented, confident.

Who is this person?

Guess what? I think I know how all this came about.

1. My guy friend who is so amazing. Despite everything he has to put up with.

He makes me want to be a better person.

OMW! Now I’m a freaking cliche!

2. My colleagues! Getting through a tough few months gave me a FU attitude. It also made me appreciative of the people in my life who I can trust.

3. Just being alive.

Any day that starts with a visit from my guy can only be good.

That and a workout!

I’ve been rather lazy with the workouts, but this morning decided to not complain and just do it.

But it all started with a snide comment my colleague made on Friday.

She said something about not complaining, because we have a choice to work there or not.

I ignored her at the time since I don’t trust her motives.

In hindsight I thought she had a point.

So I made the choice to have a great day. And I did.

My day was packed with interesting tasks and a meeting I quite enjoyed.

Plus I had to present some stuff in the meeting. Not something I enjoy doing.

But I did.

And as the meeting progressed so did my confidence.

This whole confidence thing is really quite interesting to me. (I have another post planned about confidence.)

Also, a colleague brought me a gift of nuts this morning. I am so bad at receiving gifts.

So Monday was all but over before I knew it.

Bring on Tuesday!

Wednesday, 1 September 2010
Episode 2298

Felicity is driven to prove Emma’s innocence with regards to the boutique’s finances. Sanjay struggles to talk to someone at Jacobsville with regards to the illnesses.

Oubaas has good luck with regards to a vehicle. Gita is relieved when Len gives her a report about Bright Star. Mandla breaks shocking news to Alyce.

Thursday, 2 September 2010
Episode 2299

How will Alyce react when Mandla tells her he has to go away for his new job? Matrone is disappointed when Daan suddenly leaves. Will Annelie be able to handle her first day at Dukes?

It looks as if Oubaas bought a dud when he bought his bakkie. Gita is shocked when Len shows her Sanjay’s article about Jacobsville.

Friday, 3 September 2010
Episode 2300

Felicity is grateful when Xander offers to handle the situation with Rosie. Clara and Matrone hear about Kabelo’s secret – what will they do with that information?

Gita gives Len an order and tells him that he has to keep it secret. Linda is upset about the terrible conditions in which the kids in Jacobsville must live. Mandla made a decision with regards to his job, but Alyce makes him change his mind.

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Monday, 6 September 2010
Episode 2301

Mandla and Alyce tell everyone what they’ve decided about Mandla’s new job. Van Coke Kartel must work with Alyce to get everything ready for their gig at the club.

Linda finds out what’s in the water that causes all the illnesses in Jacobsville.

Errol brings something valuable to Oubaas – which he found in Oubaas’s bakkie. Bernard is upset when he sees who San-Mari is dancing with.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Episode 2302

Will Kabelo’s tip work for Matrone? Herman gets suspicious when Gita is stressed while she is on the phone with Len.

Bernard and Tim have an argument when Bernard tells Tim what he wants to study. How will Herman react when he sees where Annelie works at night?

Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Episode 2303

Annelie asks Herman to keep quiet about her job at Dukes, but will he agree? Zinzi tries to persuade Oubaas to sell the ring for millions, but Oubaas has other plans.

Kabelo gets stressed when Matrone asks for a very important love tip. Xander suggests to Linda that she leaves the water pollution story when he tells her who the owner of Bright Star is.

Thursday, 9 September 2010
Episode 2304

Kabelo must think on his feet when Matrone pressures him for a tip. Linda makes a decision about the water pollution story.

Annelie is in a difficult situation when one of her Duke’s clients arrives at Oppiekoffie. Bernard tries his best to get a date with San-Mari.

Gita tells Len to get rid of any evidence that might show that they are guilty of the water pollution.

Friday, 10 September 2010
Episode 2304

Linda is ready to get the necessary evidence against Gita and asks Tim for help. T and T’s computer have a virus and Nico explains what they are in for.

Kabelo tries to get love tips from Oubaas – but will his plan work? Annelie is in a very uncomfortable position at Duke’s and Herman comes to her rescue.

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Monday, 13 September 2010
Episode 2306

The team at T and T wonder why Herman cancelled the order with the golf-rep. Kabelo shares weird love tips to anyone who asks.

How will Gita react when Tim confronts her about the pollution in Jacobsville?

Daan is not what he pretends to be. Nico feel embarrassed when Bernard pitches-up unexpectedly.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Episode 2307

Tim confronts Linda about her accusations against Gita. Oubaas finds the owner of the ring – but Maria is unsure if it is the right person.

Matrone lures Daan to the bookshop to try the new love tip. Felicity doesn’t want to use her crutches anymore.

Nico is in an uncomfortable position at T and T.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Episode 2308

Oubaas gives the ring to a man who has a long story involving his mother who lost it.

Linda confronts Gita but Gita manages to leave her dumbfounded. Bernard succeeds in getting something from his mother – which later causes a big argument. Annelie gets a temporary extra job opportunity.

Sanjay went to see Len and smells something is fishy.

Thursday, 16 September 2010
Episode 2309

San-Mari tells Nico how her date with Bernard went. How will Tim react when he reads Sanjay’s article about Bright Star? Gita confronts Len about the way he handles the press.

Altus’ new GPS gets stolen. It becomes clear who Daan actually is – while Matrone has big plans. Herman and Annelie find themselves in an uncomfortable position.

Friday, 17 September 2010
Episode 2310

Sanjay reads an article in Die Oggendblad that puts a stop to his story about Bright Star. Something from Vanessa and San-Mari also gets stolen. Oubaas recieves a letter from the man who took the ring – it’s something he didn’t expect.

Felicity tells Matrone the truth about Daan.

Annelie is unsure about her emotions when she sees Herman and Gita together. Bernard finds a way to make San-Mari feels better.

Monday, 20 September 2010
Episode 2311

Len’s secretary sees a certain document and makes a drastic decision. Nico makes a suggestion for T and T’s security problems.

Matrone realises she made a huge mistake.

Gita and Herman have a massive argument. Annelie works alone in T and T at night and something scary happens.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Episode 2312

Matrone is on a mission to correct her mistake, but will she be successful? Oubaas hears that Hilda arrives today but he is scared that she will still be furious with him.

Linda gets good news from Sanjay. San-Mari sees something on T and T’s security cameras that breaks her heart.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Episode 2313

Bernard wants an explanation from San-Mari, but will she give him one? Sanjay gets the results from the water he tested higher up in the river. One of Oubaas’ love tips spreads through the Laan. Gita apologises to Herman, but will he accept it? Lukas sees a new side of Bernard.

Thursday, 23 September 2010
Episode 2314

Oubaas is worried when he talks about someone’s set-backs. Alyce makes a plan to get Felicity out of her wheelchair. Hilda gets suspicious when she hears a certain word twice that day.

Annelie is compelled to tell Herman what happened herself. Sanjay and Linda discuss their plan of action and both of them get more information.

Friday, 24 September 2010
Episode 2315

Annelie opens up to Herman about her relationship with Pieter. It is clear that it is not only the T and T team that are using their security cameras. Hilda confronts the guilty parties about the “Vlinder”.

Sanjay and Lida make an important connection with their facts. Gita gets an upsetting call from Hemmingway. Something happens and ruins San-Mari date with a new guy.

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Monday, 27 September 2010
Episode 2316

Oubaas pulls out all the stops and tries to reconcile with Hilda. Neville has a suggestion for how they can raise funds for the old age home. Nico feels he is making progress when San-Mari pushes the right buttons.

Len threatens his secretary when she tells him what happened and Gita gives Len an instruction in connection with Linda. What will happen when Herman pitches while Annelie is babysitting Ava?

Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Episode 2317

San-Mari is uncertain about what happened outside her flat that morning. Herman is frustrated when Annelie doesn’t want to talk to him.

How will the Hillsiders react on Neville’s idea for a recipe book? The deli is the next place on Sanjay’s list for his restaurant review. Linda is late for dinner and Bernard discovers something upsetting.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Episode 2318

Gita hears what happened to Linda. Annelie gets a message from Pieter that upsets her and she agrees to talk to Herman later the day. Gita, unknowingly, puts a stop to Yvette’s plans.

Linda made a decision about the Bright Star story. Someone is keeping an eye on San-Mari in her flat as well.

Thursday, 30 September 2010
Episode 2319

San-Mari is worried when she finds out that something from her flat is missing. How will the people react to the review about the deli? Diederik must taste Clara’s Romanian dishes she wants to enter for the Cook book.

What will Herman do when Gita invites him for the evening but he already asked Annelie on a date?

And it wasn’t just with her – I had two other girl friends and my boyfriend at the time who I did the same with. I practically lived on the phone.

That and online activities.

I used to subscribe to the Telkom after 7.00pm product. Where you could chat as long as you want between 7.00pm and 7.00am.

My family barely saw me!

Don’t even ask where I found the time, because I used to work a full time job until 4.45pm and then rush across the city to my second job which started at 5.00pm until 9.00pm.

The only way to stay in contact with my friends was telephonically or through IM.

Now I barely have time for a 15 minute call. Although I told my walking buddy that I missed those hours long chats. Our lifestyles have completely changed from those days anyway.

But I wanted some of it back so I called one of my girl friends the other evening, instead of doing an assignment. We caught up on family stuff and boyfriend stuff and agreed to do lunch very soon.

It was so much fun! I once again missed my real friends. The ones who I know will still be around 20. 30. 40 years from now.

Best thing about friendship is the fact that you may not see or talk to them in a while, but when you do, it feels like you’ve never been apart.

Maybe it’s because I’m reserved by nature and won’t just say something without thinking it through. And most things are anyway just not my business.

My latest (although not new) pet peeve is colleagues who comment on my weight. I’ve never commented on anyone else’s weight at work, home or anywhere else.

So why do they think they have a right to tell me how thin I am and then wondering why – some inferring and some outright asking if its for some guy. My guy liked me a two years ago, a year ago and now. And in that time I put on and lost 5kg. I would never try to impress someone who didn’t already like me. But that’s besides the point.

I don’t go around telling people how fat they are. Asking why they don’t eat less food and exercise more.

Like yesterday.

I had to endure comments all day about my weight – but what really pissed me off was a conversation I had with a colleague about diets and stuff. She initiated the conversation.

I seldom, if ever, bring up the subject of health and fitness or anything that might make someone feel bad about themselves.

My colleague though added for effect that she wouldn’t be starving herself. Surmising that I do.

Whether I am or not – and I’m not – is none of her business.

I’ve made it quite clear (I think) that I don’t consider colleagues to be my friends. I’m generally friendly with them and for the most part we have a pleasant working relationship. But that’s all it is to me. A working relationship.

There are some things appropriate to discuss at work. Some people don’t mind complaining about their weight all day and discuss their various diets with anyone who will listen. That’s their prerogative.

I am not one of those people.

Not even channel hopping to SABC 3 during 7de Laan.

A few weeks ago I managed to hop on over to Isidingo during a Vanessa moment on 7 de Laan and almost forgot to switch back to SABC 2!

So engrossing was Isidingo.

Having Cherel back is already making things interesting and thank goodness she’s not hovering around Barker Haynes, but rather the new family.

You can already see how she’s going to snag herself another rich man.

Kimberley has also gotten a lot more interesting than she was when I last saw her. The new Kimberley started of brilliantly and then faded into the same boring character as everyone else had become.

But then they paired her with Len and she became softer and even sweet. I almost felt sorry for her when she decided to marry Barker. I could understand how torn she was between love for Len and the security that Barker could give her and her son.

Then there’s the Matabanes who had long ago lost the plot. Having Agnes file for divorce was a good thing. But my favourite was when Agnes chased that girl Lerato (I think) out of her house on Friday – threatening to use the sjambok!

LOL – I used to love when she threatened Zeb’s former mistress.

Even the Rajesh/Priya/Frank story looks like it is going to be soooooo good! I can hardly wait to see what’s going to happen with the baby’s adoption.

Will Priya and Frank get back together???

All in all, Isidingo seems to be hitting the right notes again. Lets hope they can get their viewers back!

Turns out the powers that be – Dan Plato to be exact – decided to surprise the waiting crowds and news media by setting the explosion off early. According to them, at that exact moment all conditions were perfect.

As far as I could see, so was 3 and a half minutes later.

For the last week, Capetonians were warned to arrive early at their viewing points. And many did, even though it was cold and wet.

But this should not came as a surprise as it isn’t the first time the Mayor of Cape Town has amused us with his antics. Although he has only been in his position for about 18 months.

He’s managed to offend quite a few people.

Remember when he first became Mayor. He came with a sex scandal of sorts. Most of us good citizens of Cape Town who don’t read Die Son, a tabloid, knew anything about the scandal, until Dan Plato himself mentioned it. The Mayor denied the scandal and wanted to sue those responsible for publishing the claims.

This is Cape Town, South Africa. Not the US of A. We don’t care about sex scandals around these parts. Well, except if it involves religious leaders and rugby players.

Not only did Dan Plato want to sue people we don’t know, about things we don’t care about, he wanted to use our taxpayer money to do so.

Eventually the whole saga disappeared.

But not Dan Plato’s arrogance.

Next thing we know he’s giving news conferences wearing a yellow Bafana jersey. Not that unusual in itself as many other politicians were doing the same thing.

But he was doing it will aggravating citizens of this country and city. He firstly had open air toilets built in Khayelitsha and when residents took offense and demanded enclosures for their toilets, he had them removed.

He was quoted as saying that he had the toilets removed because the world’s news media were focussed on SA for the Soccer World Cup – in his Bafana t-shirt no less.

At least he hasn’t yet offended the taxi drivers. Yet. We can only pray.

We both said we were having a good day.

Until I got called in to our manager’s office to do a project. An unpopular one.

Afterwards I went to my colleague and told her the penny had just dropped!

Well last week another colleague and I were talking. I was laughing so much, and didnt even care there if was bad news around the corner.

There was.

We got word that a family friend had died at a young age.

Suddenly my world had changed from carefree (as much as it gets with me) to one where life and death were foremost in my thoughts.

And I felt vulnerable. At home and work.

While talking with my guy friend about something unrelated Friday morning, I felt a mask on my face start to slip.

And showed the vulnerability I was feeling.

I thought I had it all together. Capable me. I normally fix and make things, you know.

Instead my house of cards started slipping.

He reacted by being extra sweet and kind.

But I hated that. I hate feeling transparent.
I hate needing someone.

When I got to work more of the cards started falling.

It seemed like my vulnerability was there for all to see. It probably wasn’t.

And I got irritated with two colleagues – not the infamous gossipers.

Who in turn showed their own irritation with me. One going as far as complaining about me – to one of the infamous gossipers. As luck would have it, I had to pass them on my way out the door.

So now I have this new set of circumstances in my private life.

Time to start again…although I think my foundation is pretty strong this time.

I’m certainly not afraid of the good days. Nor the bad for that matter.

It’s the emotional stuff that gets me every time.